Uniforms, Procedures, and Madness….week one done

Well one week in and I am still employed…HR did not call me again, yet after the incident on Monday and I even collected my Employment Pass (“EP“) from the ministry of manpower without incident, but that did not mean my week was not wild and woolly.

The days flew by, and by that I mean crept along and then tumbled off a cliff as I still have yet to figure out exactly what I do here and get used to all the different systems and regulations in the Bank. Let me give you a few examples of just how odd of a week it is.

Tuesday I thought I would be really smart and try and identify potential prospects, gain information on our existing clients, and do some homework on what has been done in the past. Since I am with a Japanese bank that is founded in one of the most technologically advanced countries in the world I figured I would pull up the database, maybe even on my cell phone and then by osmosis from a chip in my head the information would flow freely. That of course was not the case…there is no central database, no laptops or blackberries allowed due to customer information concerns and I spent the next four days hacking away at about 10 spreadsheets to find out information on a handful of companies and I even got to see real credit files made out of real paper because there was no electronic file to peruse. I think there is some conspiracy against trees in Japan.

Work is also interesting because every email I send to an outsider (yes you are all evil non-bankers) gets BCC’d to my direct boss for him to review. Guess that joke about him wasn’t as funny as I thought, based on his deadly stare and silent treatment for two days.

Someone told me that I have to scan my card everyday when I get in and leave or else HR will email/call me. So far I have purposefully not scanned in at least three mornings and nothing has happened…needless to say HR already knows my name and my days are likely numbered. I will keep you updated but please if you know of any other job openings in Singapore I would appreciate it.

The final straw was really when I showed up on Friday in my new uniform (see below for white shirt and tie with black pants). I swear to whatever deity you believe in or not that everyone here wears white shirts, black pants, and some color tie everyday. I am not even sure why stores sell anything else…those pastels I love are not going to be a winner here.

So anyways, on Friday in my wonderful looking uniform I was told by every male in my department that Fridays required no tie. Well glad everyone reminded me on Thursday night, oh wait no one reminded me on Thursday night.

So that was a fitting end to the week and now off to enjoy the weekend with bank accounting, mobile phone shopping, and attempting to not get lost, dress wrong, or get busted by HR (there is no doubt in my mind that HR knows what I do on weekends as well).

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